


I did it for you, to protect you.

by DeviantDarkBelle



Series: Post TROS Coping Ficlets [2]
Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Dreams and Nightmares, Force Visions, Hux is living his best life, Kylux - Freeform, M/M, Post-Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker Fix-It, Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker Spoilers, Visions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-31
Updated: 2019-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-12 09:53:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22054492
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeviantDarkBelle/pseuds/DeviantDarkBelle
Summary: Both had survived but they are apart.One is having a harder time with this fact than the other.
Relationships: Armitage Hux/Kylo Ren, Armitage Hux/Original Male Character(s), Rey & Ben Solo
Series: Post TROS Coping Ficlets [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1586638
Comments: 10
Kudos: 74





	I did it for you, to protect you.

**Author's Note:**

> Canon-divergent, spoilers
> 
> Please forgive my improper grammar and punctuation, and any tense drifts. I am just happy to be creating again. It was hit and miss there for awhile.

Ben woke with a start. His eyes were wide and he was a panting, sweaty mess as he sat up in his bed. It had been like this since the first night and every night Rey would wake up and try to soothe Ben.

Like clockwork, she would ask if he was all right and what the dream was about. Ben would always say he was fine and that he couldn’t remember the dream. And every time he must have been convincing as she’d kiss his cheek and lay back down.

Ben could never fall back asleep.

Every single night he was haunted by his dreams, by _this_ particular dream. The setting would change but the overall theme was the same. Always the same main character but a different supporting cast. Every night Ben hoped it was a dream and not a vision.

If it were a vision, it would destroy him.

And that was a foolish thought. He had destroyed them long ago, by disrespecting his General, by pushing him too far without explanation. For not returning to the ship, for denouncing Kylo Ren and embracing Ben Solo. By bringing Rey back to life.

Ben was alive but at what cost? He was just a shell of who he once was. The light side manipulated him too - Rey, Poe, the rest, but most of all, his mother.

There had only ever been one person in his life who didn’t push him to be one thing or another. And that was the one person he pushed away, tossed aside and abandoned.

He knew Hux was the spy and he didn’t blame him. If they had been able to work together, things could have ended a lot differently. But Kylo had been too stubborn to see.

He had wanted to rip Pryde’s throat out with his bare hands or with his sharp teeth, but he had been denied that privilege. Yet another thing Ben regretted. But he, well, Kylo, he knew Hux. He knew Hux wasn’t a fool and knew he had worn protective garments. He knew there were still many loyal to Hux and _his _Order. He knew he’d be safe. He also figured that by _returning_ to Ben, he’d keep Hux safe. They wouldn’t look for him as in the Resistance’s eyes, the First Order was dead along with all those in it, as well as the Final Order or whatever Palpatine had put into place.

Ben knew Hux was safe, protected.

That was the only reason he continued to lay in Rey’s bed night after night and played the role of a redeemed man.

Kylo Ren was not dead; he was still there, his powerful blood coursed through Ben Solo’s veins. He had learned quickly how to shield Kylo from Rey. Sure, she was a Palpatine, but he was a Skywalker. Anakin’s grandson. The heir apparent to Lord Vader.

He just had a part to play, and Ben was a great actor. 

He could give Rey credit for trying. She was so desperate for affection, so desperate for Ben that he took _some_ pity on her. It was sad really, the lengths she went to try and seduce Ben. But Ben had excuses; still injured from battle, body, and mind weakened, he even went as far as to admit dysfunction. That the trauma had been so deep that it manifested itself in Ben’s inability to get hard.

Ben only hoped it would continue to work, and that it would work long enough for him to set his plan in action.

But Ben didn’t know what his plan was. He felt as though he was in limbo, that he was drifting aimlessly in space and time.

Everything had lost meaning without Hux by his side. Why hadn’t they talked things out, why had Kylo been so hot-headed and stubborn?

He truly believed that if he had talked to Hux, if they had worked it out, they’d both be dead. Or worse, Hux would be dead. Ben would suffer whatever he had to, to ensure Hux’s safety. To ensure no one would ever look for him. As long as there was ‘peace’ in the galaxy, his true love would be safe.

*****

  
“Ben, seriously. You’re going to have to meditate or something. This is happening every night and it’s not good for you…” Rey’s voice was like screeching nails on a chalkboard this particular night when Ben woke from another dream. Her pleasantness was waning, along with Ben’s overall patience.

"I will. Tomorrow, well, start of the first cycle.” Ben huffed and reached for his robe. He couldn’t lie back down, he knew he wouldn’t be able to fall asleep and Rey’s presence was now more irritating for some reason.

He said nothing and didn’t look back when he left, opting for the kitchenette to make some tea.

It was the simple act of making tea that broke Ben, a memory of a late-night with Hux, them making tarine tea together as they laughed and joked in the small kitchen of their shared quarters. The memory of a time so very long ago pierced Ben’s heart and he threw the mug across the room.

It shattered into tiny shards silently, Ben using the Force to mute the sound to all those around him, but Ben made sure he heard it loud and clear.

He sat at the small table and looked around the room, these quarters so different from those that had been his home for seven years.

He missed the matte and shiny black, the battleship grey.

_Seafoam green with a hint of battleship grey_

Ben had to do something and fast. He wasn’t sure how long he could live like this.

*****

  
“That’s it. Harder. Deeper. Stars. Yes!” Hux cried out as he scratched his nails down the back of the man above him. Hux was dizzy with pleasure, the cock inside him hitting the little bundle of nerves just right. He was as loud and carefree… free.

The word rang through his mind as he came with a loud wail and once again his nails drew blood from the man between his legs.

Hux was beautiful but even more so now and he’d like to think it was since he was no longer under the thumb of a Supreme Leader. No longer had the stress nor the responsibility of bringing order to the galaxy on his shoulders.

His hair was copper and gold, long and soft, well long for Hux, and his body was a well-maintained, well-oiled machine.

He figured Solo was still out there and could only assume that one day they would come looking for him.

Hux knew he was safe in his little corner of the galaxy, surrounded by those who had always been loyal to him. He no longer had a desire to fight, to bring war. His existence now was much brighter and less stressful.

Once he had recovered from the shots and recovered from the betrayal, Hux noticed those around him were noticing _him_. It was flattering but at times it was annoying and distracting since ranks no longer existed. He was still the General but the title lacked the weight it had in the Order. Also, and this more than the absence of rank, no Kylo Ren. No dark figure stalking the halls or the skies, no intimidation methods.

Ren wasn’t there to scare any potential callers away.

But Hux figured that wasn’t really a bad thing. Handsome officers now spoke to Hux freely, made their intentions known and Hux took only those worthy to his bed.

He rarely spent a night alone.

And every night, at least once but more often than that, Hux would rake his sharp nails down the naked back of the men above him, hoping that somehow, someway, Solo, or Ren, or whoever that man was, could feel it.

*****

  
The urge to leave started to consume Ben. He discreetly started to hoard supplies and credits, he had secured a shuttle and the ship was hidden in a spaceport on the outskirts of town on the other side of their home base.

Rey would train and Ben would make his way to his shuttle, packing up supplies and testing the engine systems and plotting a flight course.

He didn’t know where he’d go, but he made several plans, had several ideas. He knew that then the time was right, the Force would guide him, would point him in the right direction.

The final straw was the cycle where yet again, Ben woke with a start, panting, moaning and sweating. But this time, his back hurt. It made no sense, he hadn’t slept funny or awkwardly; it was Rey’s reaction that sealed the deal.

Blood.  
Long lines of blood down Ben’s back.  
His shirt was still intact; it was like the lines were coming from the inside out.

The dreams began to make sense to Ben but he kept that to himself, he only shushed Rey before he went to the refresher to have a hot shower.

They hadn’t been dreams.

They had been visions.  
In real-time.  
Of Hux getting fucked.

*****

  
Ben waited for Rey to leave before he finished packing the small bag he had hidden in the closet. He didn’t need much considering he had been moving items to the shuttle daily. He just packed his toiletries, a few of his favourite pieces of clothing and perishable food items. He had enough food rations already on the shuttle to feed a garrison for a year; he just hoped he wouldn’t need to use it.

Ben hoped he was prepared for anything that would come his way.

Blaster in its holster and pieces to forge his new saber were securely against his person and he left the small quarters without looking back, left the base without a second glance and boarded the shuttle all without looking behind him.

This had just been a temporary stop, a necessary blip to ensure Hux’s safety as well as to give the Force time to show him the way.

He didn’t waste time packing his bag away; he couldn’t chance someone stopping him. It was now or never. He took his seat, fired up the engines and soon he was in the upper atmosphere.

Once he cleared it and was in open space, he let out a laugh. A maniacal laugh, one that was similar to those Kylo and Hux often shared together.

“I’m free. I’m finally free.” Kylo said softly to himself as he engaged the shuttle’s autopilot.

For the first time in his entire life, he _was _free. He wasn’t under Luke, or his mother or father, wasn’t under Snoke or Palpatine, or even Rey.

Free.  
He was finally free.

“Guide me to him, please. There’s so much I need to make up for. Please, let me.” Kylo pleaded with the Force as he disengaged the autopilot and let the Force guide his way.


End file.
